I’m excited to share the presentation I gave this year at the UCAP conference! The title is “Eight Things Couples Need in Recovery and Why Your Goals Are Causing You to Fail” and it’s mainly for couples in which one or both partners are struggling with an addiction to sexual behaviors or pornography.
Couples who start recovery work can really struggle to get traction, especially in the beginning. Most couples tend to set goals, usually revolving around the addict’s sobriety. In the presentation, I share the latest research on motivation, goal setting, and ways in which the way you manage goals may actually undermine your recovery efforts. Even though the presentation is focused on couples, much of what is said is applicable to individuals struggling with compulsive pornography use as well.
You’ll have to watch the whole presentation to really get into the things I believe are crucial for couples to have going for them in addiction recovery, but here are the eight items:
- engage in recovery dailies
- facilitate a curiosity-focused approach to healing
- highlight relationship patterns
- see couple conflict as diagnostic
- seek personal serenity
- replace fairness with acceptance
- create recovery narratives
- give yourself permission to breathe
I hope you enjoy it. If you find it helpful, please share the video with others!